Hello once again Trove brethren! Thank you for tuning in once again to our most serious, intense blog yet ... our April Fools' blog.
In anticipation of this Sunday, where the internet will be a proverbial storm of preposterously cheesy pranks and jokes (with the occasional meme of Justin Timberlake saying “It’s Gonna’ Be May”) Trove has decided to take its foot off the gas of serious blog content and descend into … chaos. Instead of our usual spectacularly informative and engaging production content, we’ve decided to share some of the most outlandish, baffling moments in Trove history. Some are humorous … some, are savage … all … are Trove.
“Let’s Cut the Chit-Chat”
Ben Gets Down to Business
A few months ago, the Trove crew had quite an epic shoot. We traveled hither, thither, and yon, driving thousands of miles for a fat daddy shoot that culminated in two 12-hour days.
But as all things do, the shoot was coming to an end -- almost. We were on the “Martini Shot,” which is hip production slang for the last shot of the day, and that giddy, near-sensual anticipation of completing a shoot was upon us. All we had to do was film a few people hard at work in their office.
Unfortunately, those very people were actually suffering end of day giddy anticipation as their work day came to a close, and were outright exploding with social glee, drowning in a pool of interoffice camaraderie.
That was when, with the shoot on the line, Ben flexed his creative director muscles with such raw authority that it became the stuff of legend: He asked them to “cut the chit-chat.” It was leadership personified, and such a brazen display of power that “cut the chit-chat” has become common Trove vernacular.
The shot did not make the final cut.
“Shall I … Bathe?”
Trove is Introduced to the Madness of Miles Marinello
On a frigid and tundra-like October morning, little Miles Marinello (that, of course, being myself) awoke from his slumber much too early to commence. The day would be a long one, as we had done some serious traveling and were set for a particularly long shoot day. To prepare for such an event, Miles looked to hop in the shower. Ben stood near the bathroom, brushing his teeth.
To this point, Miles had remained a somewhat normal, stable presence in the office, staying in his lane, practicing obedience, and acting within the norms of human behavior. Like a Hindenberg of normalcy, all of that came crashing to the ground with three simple words.
Miles, in just a towel, leaned out of the bathroom and asked a teeth-brushing Ben “Shall I … bathe?” With those words, Trove was never the same, as Miles’ generally strange behavior has pervaded the office ever since.
“I’ve Seen Part of It”
Addisohn Reveals He’s Never Seen Anything, Ever
Alright, so this is a series of moments rather than one moment in particular, but despite that, the phenomenon can be described as “I’ve Seen Part of It,” or ISPOI.
In a normal case of ISPOI, we at Trove, unsurprisingly, will be engaging in fierce and passionate film discussion. “Oh, this movie’s awesome,” “the DP on this is garbage,” “the acting is incredible,” “Leonardo DiCaprio is so handsome,” the usual.
And, as most film/television conversations go, when a new person enters it or isn’t initially a part of it, those conversing ask, “We’re talking about this, have you seen it?” To which Addisohn almost always responds “I’ve seen part of it.” I personally have never met another human with that level of self-control or casual ability of dismissal. It’s truly astounding to speak of an incredible, riveting film or TV show only to hear Addisohn say “I’ve seen the first 15 minutes” or “I’ve seen the end.” ISPOI: an incredible phenomenon.
Tanner Takes a Dive
The Incredible Adventures of Wetsuit-Clad Intern
Tanner, our production assistant/office intern over the last few months, has proven himself to be a major swiss army man, especially on sets, where the man will go absolutely buckwild. Wearing so many proverbial hats on set that he equates to the Hydra of PA’s, Tanner once broke down an entire short film set in 30 minutes by himself. Wild, wild stuff.
But perhaps the most legendary moment in Tanner’s tenure came a few weeks ago when we did a shoot on a lake on a pair of row boats. The shoot would have been difficult enough, but the fact we needed both boats to spin at one point made it even more so.
Enter Tanner, and a wetsuit. With the water at a brisk 50 degrees and more than a tad bit muddy due to some recent rain, Tanner donned his wetsuit and jumped right in. Doggy paddling to avoid gulping down some mud, dueling with lake spiders as well as his own exhaustion. Seeing that young man battle the elements, pose in various karate stances, and smoke a cigarette in that wetsuit was one of the most preposterous things I’ve ever seen.
“Somebody Get Me A Guitar!”
Ben Is Too Pumped for His Own Good
While on a relatively routine drive to a shoot, Ben casually put on a song from a “Key and Peele” skit we had watched earlier that day. The song is one you definitely have heard if you’ve ever seen one of those dreadful aerobics videos from the ‘80s, called “The National Aerobic Champion Theme.” The song is like a rash; it’s horrible to have to deal with, but … incredibly satisfying to scratch that itch.
Anyway, so Ben puts this song on in the car, and proceeds to completely lose himself to the song. The man is dancing, shouting, he’s the very definition of feeling it. It was as if the ghost of an aerobics instructor from the ‘80s had taken over his body.
As the song reached fever pitch, he shouted something which I firmly believe can’t possibly have been thought about before being said, as he proceeded to demand “SOMEBODY GET ME A GUITAR SO I CAN TEAR THIS PLACE APART!” I don’t know if I’ve ever seen a moment of such music-centric passion since Ringo shouted “I’VE GOT BLISTERS ON MUH FINGAS!”
“Is That All YOUR Sour Cream?”
Joe Really Likes Sour Cream
We’ve mentioned our beloved videographer Joe Peed in past posts, and for good reason. Not only does Joe kick some serious tail as a videographer, but he’s also just … just a genuine delight to be around. Joe is in his twenties, but, and I mean this in the kindest and nicest way possible, he has a legitimate sense of childlike wonder, optimism, and ambition. Joe does something because he wants to. He just enjoys life and soaks it all in like the most well-meaning sponge in the world. If everyone was as earnest and kind as Joe, it'd be a pretty dope world.
Anyway (damn, spoiled that kid), Joe’s shocking kindness can even be seen in how he deals with “can I have a bite?” negotiations. We’ve all had those; you’re out at dinner with a friend, you get something good, and they want to try some.
Well, out at a lunch at a tex-mex place, I received a significant dollop of sour cream with my food. Joe, his eyes alight with the potential glory of future sour cream consumption, inquired “Miles is all that … YOUR sour cream?” I looked at him, told him yes, then asked “Joe, do you … want some?” To which he responded a rapturous yes. The nicest possible way I could have imagined anyone asking for food, this one definitely makes the list.
“I Know One Song”
The Endless Piano Loop of the Charlie Brown Theme Song
On the set of a shoot for another one of our awesome clients, we had a whole list of pick-up shots we were fixin' to capture to help sell the whole British Regency thing we were going for. So our actress is writing with a quill, she’s stirring some tea; you know, fancy stuff.
Moving on. At one point, we were supposed to have her play the piano, but due to some scheduling shenanigans, she had to hit the old dusty trail, meaning we needed a double.
Luckily, one of the employees present at the shoot knew how to play the piano and jumped at the opportunity to have her hands take the leap to fame and fortune.
Having said that, she only knew one song; the theme song from “Peanuts.” More specifically, just about the first thirty seconds of the song or so. What followed was about five to ten minutes of that same portion of the song played on the piano on a loop until we got the write take. Sure, it was only thirty seconds of one song, but by god, did that woman shred it. Chopin-level stuff. A taste of it below:
A Sin in the Food Garden of Eden
The Chicago Subway Suggestion
In past blogs I’ve written about the long journey Trove took waaaay up to upper Michigan for a shoot. It was a lovely, 16-hour drive, and we were privileged to bask in the wonderful scent of five grown (or in my case, barely grown) men being trapped in a car for ⅔ of a day. At one point, a man’s sanity shatters, and that is what happened to me as we reached a stopping point in Chicago.
A member of our crew, it turns out, had been feeling quite under the weather all day, and when we reached Chicago, had a stomach that was feeling rather wrathful. Obviously thrilled to be in the food paradise that is Chicago, we floated dining idea after dining idea, but the man, and for good reason, wasn’t sure what his stomach could handle.
Finally, we passed a Subway, to which I sarcastically suggested we go to. Our maladied member, shockingly, agreed. At which point I descended into a degree of unmitigated savagery. I scoffed, laughed, shouted, essentially berated the man for daring to suggest it. “ARE YOU KIDDING ME? WE’RE IN CHICAGO!” I rained down insults on the poor member, and while it may have been funny, it was, undoubtedly, savage.
Speaking of …
Short Film Shenanigans
The Shooting of “Common Household Bear Attack”
Our aforementioned assistant editor and victim of ISPOI, Addisohn, came to us a few months ago asking if Trove wanted to join forces to help him create his short film. The film was “Common Household Bear Attack,” about a man who dies after potentially creating artificial intelligence with a teddy bear, and the subsequent police investigation. We readily and enthusiastically got on board.
What we didn’t know, however, was how truly ridiculous the shoot would become, as the two days of filming became the gift that keeps on giving in terms of goofy moments. One of our actors did an incredible impression of a snobby German. One of our lovely hosts made a pizza but, unable to remove it from the oven, slid it into a frying pan to remove it after it dangled precariously from the oven rack. I myself smashed my head violently on a wall after attempting to dive out of the way of a shot, me and Addy’s subsequent giggling ruining the shot anyway. Sarcasm and verbal degradation ran rampant, but, ultimately, we were just a bunch of buds getting stuff DONE. Stay tuned for the release of “Common Household Bear Attack” ... soon ... ?
What Is A Sandwich?
The Great, Eternal Sandwich Debate
Alright, another instance of me sort of including a string of moments as opposed to one in particular. And it all centers around one question: How does one define a sandwich? I don’t recall how this debate began, but it’s one that has raged for nearly half a year now.
I find myself in the conservative, far right camp of sandwich-dom, meaning that a sandwich is simply defined as something sitting between two pieces of bread. It can be something preposterous, it can be a lizard between two pieces of bread, or a piece of bread between two pieces of bread. Bottom line; it must be something between two pieces of bread to be a sandwich.
Ben, Tanner, and others, however, fall in the leftist, freewheeling, flippant definition of sandwich-dom, which is basically that you can put anything between two random items and it becomes a sandwich. You can put a a Chick-Fil-A chicken nugget on one side, a fry in the middle, and a piece of lettuce on the other side, boom, it's a sandwich. I find this disrespectful of the sandwich name.
Then you get into tacos, burritos, open-faced sandwiches (how is that even a thing?!), the argument just spirals out of control. I will admit, at times, my resolve in strict sandwich adherence is shaken, but nevertheless -- the debate rages on. See where you fall on the axis:
So there you have it, folks, ten of the most bizarre, idiosyncratic moments in Trove History, that truly define Trove at its strangest, and, in a way, its most … wonderful. If you were enticed by such shenanigans, feel free to read our other blogs on our website! If you were scared away by such blatant honesty, then … let’s cut the chit-chat and be on our way.
Thanks again, see you guys next week!